Monday, June 1, 2009

Nothing is as easy as it looks...

I have always had short nails. I sometimes try to grow them out but all it takes is one nail biter of a movie and mine are literally ripped as low as they can get... ALL OF THEM!!! Well about three weeks ago I was tired of having short stubby nails so I figured, what the heck, i will treat myself to tips so my own nails can grow out underneath and I can, (for once), have neatly groomed finger nails and not hide them in a fist every time I am sitting next to someone.

Let me start by saying I have NEVER had tips put on in my life, so I had no idea what I was getting myself in to. So off I went to the nail salon with DeAnna... a perfect mommy daughter date... pedicures and manicures... what a fun, relaxing morning! I told them to make the tips short since I play the piano, but even as short as they were, I left the salon literally feeling like Wolverine. Here I was with these big, indestructible prongs sticking out of my fingers. I even had trouble getting my bank card out of my wallet to pay for the dang things.

In fact, I have had to get help doing a variety of things that I usually have no problem with. I wasn't able to rip the top off the bag of shredded cheese or open other packages of food to cook with... and don't even talk to me about cans with flip tops! If something flat fell on the floor it had to stay there because no matter how hard I tried i could not pick it up. The piano was frustrating... but Sunday was a nightmare trying to play the organ and I had an even harder time typing at work. Usually I can type about 80-90 words a minute but I doubt I got above 65 and I kept hitting the wrong keys!!! Trying to load and unload the dishwasher was painful to say the least. I have nearly cussed about 20 times when I catch one on something and it threatens to pull my finger off. And I have sliced my own body several times just trying to bathe.

I am telling you I do not know how women function with these things on their hands!!! How does the housework get done? How are their little children not scarred from head to toe. At one point I even tried to get them off myself. THEY DON'T COME OFF!!!

Well, at the advice of friends I am giving it a little time to see if I can get used to them, but I am not hopeful... I don't think I am the glamorous lady type. I am a short, stubby finger nailed, put your shoulder to the wheel type of woman. So unless by some miracle I can learn to function with these things on, I will probably be back to holding my hands in fists when sitting next to you glamor gals. Just please don't judge me! ;)

8 comments:

MaryBeth said...

Come back to the fold Petra. We miss you in no-nails land.

Tammy said...

amen sista...I used to try and have nice pretty nails to hide my nasty looking hands but I too found that I needed a nice pretty maid and nanny to go with them. I also figured that my basketball buddies would not be happy if I scratched them up, so I leave them short and stubby. I used to occassionally throw on a pretty nail color to dress up the heinous looking nails, but I have found that pretty colors just draw attention to my ugly, short nailed, nasty looking, dish pan, calloused, old lady hands...so between us I think we can start the new trend, unpainted, short stubby, bit off nails are in!!

Higleys said...

I "modeled" (which means a student does it for free) for nails once at Ricks. Then I went to my Horseback riding class where we went outside and my horse bucked thus pulling the reins out of my hand and through the nails and tore them all off one hand.
Sooooooooo not worth it.

Denise said...

You could always have another baby, for some reason my nails are indestructible and long for the first time... I used to get fake nails when I was in high school and college and they did take a lot of getting used to. I'm sure, however, I never actually sliced myself! Oh, how I remember typing, though. You will get used to them. If not, you can go have them removed. FYI - my own nails just got weaker under those things.

Henich Family said...

Don't you judge me either lady....You can sit next to me. I am on teh short, stubby finger nail team!

TKAK said...

oh my, you sound like me! I have had that experience a couple of times...neither is very fun...but I am putting up with my short, stubby nails :)

Irene and Steve Moyer said...

You are too funny, Petra! I can just picture you down on the floor trying to pick things up with your glamour nails! I guess pretty-fingered people don't have real work to do!

Karen said...

I had fake nails once for about 3 months the summer I graduated ASU and my sister got married. I stopped going to get them redone when half of one of my real nails came off with a fake one! Denise is right that your real ones get worse underneath...I like your Wolverine comment. So true! I remember having trouble even driving home the first day I got those things.